Nobody Gave Me A Blueprint To Be A Mother

Nobody Gave Me A Blueprint To Be A Mother

Mothers make things work like clockwork.  Unlike going to a job, where there are projects to create and finish, mothers don’t get to punch a time clock.  The day literally does not end until the family says it does.

We pay honor to moms in May because it is a recognized day for moms.  The other 364 days of the year we forget how important mom is, or at least we don’t always tell her how much we appreciate her the rest of the year.

This is a story about two women who became the best of friends after they moved in next to each other several years back.

Lauren is as smart as they come.  She is a professor at the local state university where she teaches English.  She loves her job and is always helping students master the art of writing and poetry.

Lauren and her husband William have two beautiful girls who are twins.  To say their lives are hectic is an understatement.  Between their jobs and the 3-year old twins, life is anything but a peach.

Lauren takes the girls to daycare every morning before she rushes off to teach.  She did extensive research on the daycare facility and feels the girls are in good hands.  She’s always a little sad when she drops them off.

She wonders if she should be with them so she can shape their lives more.  William is an executive with a pharmaceutical company and he doesn’t have a lot of time to devote to the girls.

Lauren and William made a pledge that they would do everything in their power to be there for the girls at night and on the weekend.  They wanted to make sure the girls had strong family values even in this crazy scenario.

Sarah is Lauren’s neighbor.  When Lauren and William moved in, Sarah promptly assembled the troops (her family) and put together a welcome basket to present to Lauren and William.

Sarah has two boys and two girls ranging in age from 3-9.  Sarah’s husband, John, is an airline pilot and his schedule varies so much it’s hard to do things consistently with the family.

Sarah is like a 6-year old hopped up on Mountain Dew.  She is a marvel of movement and energy.  The booster rockets of the space shuttle have nothing on Sarah.

Lauren came to rely on Sarah so much, especially when the girls got sick.  She never missed a beat.  Sarah always had a contingency plan and one that included “sick bay.” 

That was Sarah’s name for a room they specifically designed in the basement to have for “sick neighbor kids” (at least that’s what the girls thought).  Sarah always made the girls feel special and they didn’t mind being sick if Aunt Sarah was taking care of them.

Sarah was fascinated with Lauren.  Lauren would hold poetry readings at the university and invite promising young poets to share their poems.  Sarah was always given an invitation, but she was not able to attend very often.

It made Sarah sad sometimes because she really liked poetry and it was one of her little “me” activities that made her smile.  She loved the way Lauren interacted with an audience.

Lauren would effortlessly work the room and you always felt like she was your best friend.  The sessions were wildly popular and Lauren would end the night with a powerful poem by Maya Angelou or Pablo Neruda or some other famous poet.

Lauren loved her job because she had the passion and the ability to connect with people through poetry and writing.  It was like listening to a songbird when she taught.

She would praise students when they would be bold and interpret a poem in their own words.  There was no fake sincerity when she would tell a student “you’re exactly right” as a wide smile lightened up the class.  The class ate it up.

When Lauren got home later that night, she was able to tuck the girls into bed.  Emily was so excited to tell mommy what happened to her.  When Emily finished the story, Lauren told her that was a beautiful story.

Lauren ran to her bedroom and began to sob uncontrollably. 

“Super Mom” Sarah was in the kitchen getting the kids’ breakfast before school.  She was dancing around the kitchen to “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” by Cyndi Lauper.  The kids thought mom was funny dancing around like that.

Sarah was no amateur when it came to organizing “the troops.”  They all had their duties and there was no time for excuses.  Sarah couldn’t say no to anyone or anything.

Sarah was glad she didn’t live in a neighborhood that had stray dogs and cats; otherwise her home would have been the local shelter.  She always laughed at her in inability to say no.

As soon as she thought that, the phone rang.  Principal Clemens called and wanted to know if she could help out with a big fund-raiser to buy backpacks for underprivileged kids.

Without blinking an eye, Sarah asked for details and quickly typed them in her MacBook Pro.  When she hung up she busted out laughing thinking to herself, “I really can’t say no.”

Lauren had a miserable night.  She tossed and turned as she heard Emily describe the story she told her.  For a 4-year old, the story was beautifully told and it was a great story.

Lauren could not shake it from her head.  Lauren had the girls in her mid-thirties and was getting close to the big Four 0.  That wasn’t really bothering, but the story Emily told her rattled her.

When Lauren dropped the girls off at pre-school, she sat there in the car aimlessly staring at the kids playing.  Lauren always considered herself a great mom.  She would read to Emily and Hannah all the time.

They would not go to sleep until mommy read them a story.  This gave Lauren some peace knowing the girls were interested in reading and learning.  She felt guilty but she didn’t know what was bugging her so much.

Life kept marching on over at Sarah’s house and there was no time for foolin’ around.  The kids needed to be dropped off at school, the laundry had to be done, the weekly meal plan had to be set and the fund-raiser had to be organized. 

John was usually a big help, but it seemed like he was absent more and more from family activities.  Sarah shrugged it off and got to work on the 8 million projects she got herself into.

While at the supermarket, Sarah noticed an up and coming poet, Tara Powell, was coming to town for a poetry reading.  Sarah had heard Lauren talk about her all the time.  She called Lauren and asked if she knew Tara was coming to town.

Lauren invited Tara to town and was the host for this event.  Sarah was in such need of “me time”, she practically begged Lauren to let her come.  Lauren was reluctant to say yes, but gracefully said “of course you’re invited.”

Sarah immediately called John and told him unless there was some natural disaster that required his immediate attention, he better be home to watch the kids that night.  Everything was set!

Sarah always thought she was the poet mother of suburbia.  She always envisioned herself being like Lauren.  She would dream of getting in front of a classroom full of kids and play the part of a poet laureate.  Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Back in the real world, Lauren sat in her office thinking about what Emily had said.  She was mad at Sarah, but Sarah wasn’t the cause of this problem.  Lauren felt bad that she even considered Sarah to be the problem.

She called Sarah later that day and said plan on going out for coffee after the poetry reading.  She felt awful and she wanted to let Sarah what she was feeling.  “Super Mom” was a little confused and concerned at the same time.

What in the world did Lauren want to talk to her about?

In Lauren’s eyes, Sarah suddenly became “Super Mom.”  Here’s why.  A few days ago when Emily and Hannah were sick, Aunt Sarah cheerfully took care of them as she always did when Lauren was at work.

That day at lunch, Sarah brought the girls chicken soup and a poem.  Sarah knew Lauren always read the girls poems and she wanted to do the same to cheer them up. So she read:


Be Glad Your Nose is on Your Face

Be glad your nose is on your face,
not pasted on some other place,
for if it were where it is not,
you might dislike your nose a lot.

Imagine if your precious nose
were sandwiched in between your toes,
that clearly would not be a treat,
for you’d be forced to smell your feet.

Your nose would be a source of dread
were it attached atop your head,
it soon would drive you to despair,
forever tickled by your hair.

Within your ear, your nose would be
an absolute catastrophe,
for when you were obliged to sneeze,
your brain would rattle from the breeze.

Your nose, instead, through thick and thin,
remains between your eyes and chin,
not pasted on some other place–
be glad your nose is on your face!

Jack Prelutsky

Later that night, Emily explained the story completely wrong, but it was amusing to hear the joy in her voice.  Lauren liked how she explained the story, but the bombshell was yet to come.

Emily told Aunt Sarah she loved her and if anything ever happened to her mommy, she wanted Aunt Sarah to be her new mommy.  Just to make matters worse, Hannah said “me too.”

Emily and Hannah simply appreciated the things Aunt Sarah did for them.  Lauren was to blame for their good manners and behavior.  But this was like sticking a dagger in her heart.

Lauren was instantly frozen with fear.  “Oh my God, my kids love Aunt Sarah more than me,” she thought.  What have I done?  I thought we had a good family relationship and the one thing I feared the most has come true.

Endless waves of guilt crashed over Lauren’s head as she heard Emily describe the story.  After that tsunami settled, Lauren thought, “how do I compete with “Super Mom” of suburbia for my children’s attention?

Deep down, she felt ashamed that she was labeling Sarah in a negative light.  After all, Sarah came through in a pinch every single time the girls were sick.  I had no reason to be mad at her.  She did it out of love and friendship.

She kept wondering when she was going to wake up from this nightmare.  Unfortunately, there was no nightmare and Emily had sparked a primal instinct in Lauren – protect my kids.

It’s strange how we want to project our lives into some else’s life.  Sarah always loved how eloquent and graceful Lauren was. And conversely, Lauren always admired the zest for life Sarah seemed to have.

Lauren was anxious and nervous the day of the poetry reading with Tara Powell.  She knew she had to tell Sarah that something was wrong, but it was totally Lauren’s fault.

Sarah the “Super Mom” has a sixth sense and she knew something was bothering Lauren.  The poetry reading was awe-inspiring as far as Sarah was concerned.  The words came out of Tara’s mouth like velvety chocolate.

Sarah almost forgot about Lauren, but as the poetry reading ended, she knew something was going to happen.  Lauren and Sarah strolled down to the coffee shop around the corner and ordered coffee.

Sarah was dying inside because she knew Lauren was having a hard time telling her what was wrong.  So in true Sarah style, she said, “what’s wrong sweetie?”  Lauren began sobbing while trying to muster the courage to tell Sarah.

Lauren finally told Sarah what happened and said she felt terrible about feeling jealous.  Sarah was relieved too.  There was something she wanted to tell Lauren for the longest time.

Sarah was envious of the academic career Lauren had made for herself.  When Sarah had the time, she would daydream of being the poet laureate of suburbia. 

Normally this happened when she heard the beautiful 5-part harmony of the Eagles or Jackson Browne playing on the radio as she danced around the kitchen.

The burden was lifted.  “Super Mom” told Lauren the part Emily left out.  Emily forgot one major detail of the story.  She told Aunt Sarah, “my mommy would not ever leave me, but can we come over if we’re sick again?”

What is the purpose of this story?  It’s a story of two great moms who do the best they can for their kids.  So much time and energy is spent on raising your family, that there really isn’t any “me time.”

It’s funny to think that Sarah wanted to be Lauren and Lauren wanted to be “Super Mom” deep inside.  The thing neither of them has is enough time for them.

Playing the role of “Super Mom” is what millions and perhaps billions of moms do every day.  The problem with this attitude is when do you find time for yourself?  Can you really be the best mom you can be if you don’t care of yourself physically first?

Once you’ve accomplished the physical part, it’s time take care of yourself emotionally and mentally so you can be “Super Mom” on all cylinders.

We’ve designed the website to help you with diets, fitness, nutrition and remedies.  If you’re not physically strong, it will be a struggle to keep everything running smoothly.

The family unit completely falls apart without “Super Mom” at the helm.  Help yourself first so you can help your family stay strong.

Eat right, exercise regularly, drink plenty of water and eat your fruits and vegetables and dance around the kitchen like Sarah.


Well, I’m a standing on a corner
in Winslow Arizona
It’s such a fine sight to see
It’s a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed
Ford slowin’ down to take a look at me
Come on, baby, don’t say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me
We may lose and we may win though
we will never be here again
so open up, I’m climbin’ in,
so take it easy…”Alright”

Well I’m running down the road trying to loosen 
my load, got a world of trouble on my mind 
lookin’ for a lover who won’t blow my 
cover, she’s so hard to find 
Take it easy, take it easy 
don’t let the sound of your own wheels make you crazy,
come on baby, don’t say maybe 
I gotta know if your sweet love is gonna save me, ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh,ooh

Ray’s Google Plus Profile

To Be A Mother

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